Yes, hello. It has certainly been a while since I have posted anything other than the notes from my voice hearing.
There are many reasons for that. Mostly being very busy at college on the course that I am taking.
I also banked up a lot of posts at the end of 2017 to help me cope with assignments and not becoming overwhelmed with feeling that I constantly had to update this blog. It was very helpful to live with the knowledge that I had a lot of posts before I had to come and type up more experiences here.
I’ve also been struggling with what I would call a relapse in my symptoms. I’m having more visual hallucinations and finding it harder to concentrate than normal. Something which has had a great impact on me getting my assignments done and handed in on time.
Luckily I have good teachers at college who are very helpful, supportive and who understand that I sometimes need more time to do things.
If you can’t tell already, I ran out of the saved up blog posts recently and haven’t gotten round to getting the next lot up and ready to go. That will be happening soon for anyone that is interested in more recent voice hearing.
This blog is very important to me, both as a means of monitoring how my experiences with hearing voices have changed over time and as a way of showing what it’s actually like to hear voices.
I don’t know about anyone else, but I was too socially anxious to go to psychosis support groups and the internet plus other forms of media is filled with examples that I can’t relate to.
According to the mental health team that I’m getting therapy from, my psychosis is pretty weird…and it gets kind of annoying to explain yourself over and over again to people.
On youtube, there are a lot of videos that purport to be what it’s like to hear voices and although they might be things that ring true for other people, it’s not an experience that I have now. In the first few years of my psychosis, I did hear individual people who had names and distinctive personalities but after having effective therapy, (Let’s not talk about my experiences with the children’s services) those people disappeared or fractured into multiple voices.
So this is a better approximation of my experience, only the words that are being said are more distinct.
So… I just wanted to let you know that I am still around, even if I’m not posting all that often. That, I am determined to keep going with this, even though at times it feels like I am the only person in the world that is reading it. That’s alright because I find it to be very therapeutic.
Hopefully, if you also hear voices or experience other sensory hallucinations this blog is a place that can help you feel like you are not alone.
If you aren’t I hope that I can help to show you what it is actually like to experience things like this.
So lastly, if anyone has any questions that they would like to ask me please feel free to do so in the comments below.